May 27, 2004
Al Gore: Statesman, Moonbat
I couldn't help but notice that Al Gore is keenly concerned over the rights of the prisoners that are being held both in Iraq specifically, and in the War on Terror in general.
Well, never let it be said that I would speak out against applying the Geneva Convention to our prisoners. Indeed, I'm quite keen to see it applied precisely as written, and to alleviate Mr. Gore's concerns over the treatment of our prisoners.
The vast majority of the prisoners we've taken are a) not part of recognized military units, b) have no clearly defined command structure, c) wear no readily identifiable distinguishing uniforms or insignia, c) use prohibited places such as religious and/or medical facilities as military bases, and d) reside among the civilian population. I suggest, therefore, we set up standing military tribunals for assessing these prisoners' cases, in order to declare them to be unlawful combatants in accordance with the Geneva Conventions and the Law of Armed Conflict. Then we can simply shoot them in the back of the head.
This should go far, I think, to avoid a repeat of the terrible Abu Ghraib incident, and will almost completely eliminate any need for concern on Mr. Gore's part about ill-treatment of prisoners, or our failure to comply fully with the Geneva Convention requirements.