QandO

August 17, 2004

Betrayal
Posted by Dale Franks

Robert Scheer is mad. And I don't mean that in the sense in which "mad" usually refers to Mr. Scheer, as in, "You're mad, Bobby! Completely barking mad!" No, I mean he's angry.

Although, the other meaning of "mad" is always appropriate when referring to Mr. Scheer.

But this time he's mad at John Kerry, for...well...for being John Kerry, essentially.

At Bush's prompting, reporters asked Kerry if he, knowing what we all know now about Iraq's lack of weapons of mass destruction, would still have voted, as he did in October 2002, to authorize the president to use force against Iraq. Instead of smacking that hanging curveball out of the park by denouncing the Bush administration for deceiving Congress and the nation into a war, Kerry inexplicably said yes.

Of course Kerry went on to make an important critique of Bush's conduct of the war, but he got slammed by the Bush team as well as the media for losing in the "gotcha" derby.

The irony is almost too much to bear. After all, for two years Bush has flip-flopped relentlessly on just exactly why it was a good idea to occupy a troubled Muslim country that posed no military threat to the United States. Now Bush is getting political mileage out of exploiting Kerry's stubborn refusal to admit he was had by All the President's Con Men.

Yeah, by the way, keep up with that "flippy-floppy Bush" line. 'Cause, you know, the whole critique of Bush is that he just won't commit to anything.

Let me know how that's workin' out for you.

In any event, Mr. Scheer finds it inexplicable that Mr. Kerry won't recant his vote on the Iraq War. That's because Mr. Scheer suffers from a big dose of the Pauline Kael Syndrome. Literally no one Mr. Scheer talks to, from the editorial board at The Nation, to Tina Brown, to the guys over at The New Yorker can find any possible reason for Kerry to keep defending his Iraq War vote. Why, even the centrists over at the New York Times are kind of puzzled by it. In fact, he was talking to Julianne Malveaux on the phone just the other day, and Jules can't figure it out either. I mean, it's just so obvious, how can Kerry not see it?!

But, compared to Robert Scheer, John Kerry lives in a world that actually has some relevance to the real world, as least as far as electoral politics goes. Rejecting his Iraq vote, at this late a date, doesn't actually make Kerry look less flip-floppy than Bush.

Apparently, Mr. Scheer thinks what Mr. Kerry needs to do is come out, and tell the press, "Here's the deal: George W. Bush, who is so stupid he needs to paint a big L and R on his shoes so he can tell what foot to put in them, fooled me with his devious and tricksy ways, and I fell for it, because he's the genius mastermind of a globe-spanning neo-con-spiracy."

I know Chrysler salesmen who wouldn't touch that line with a 10-foot pole, and they sold the K Car for 5 years for cripes' sake!

Also, in the real world, which is, apparently, the one Mr. Scheer doesn't inhabit, the average voter has...uh...questions about the Democratic Party's trustworthiness when it comes to national security. Now, maybe that isn't a problem with Mr. Scheer, who is of the Jimmy Carter school, i.e., there's no problem that can't be solved with a unilateral American retreat. But, for most voters, who happen to think that we've got a fairly decent country here, weakness on national security is, in wartime, the kiss of death to a candidate.

So, I expect the real reason why Mr. Scheer is so mad at Mr. Kerry, is because he wanted a presidential candidate of the Jimmy Carter School, too. Instead, what he got was John Wayne Kerry, complete with combat service, medals, secret trips to Cambodia, amazing kung-fu grip and, oh yes, a magic hat.

And, maybe that wouldn't be so bad if Mr. Kerry had served in a "good" war, like old double-u double-u eye eye, but Kerry served in Vietnam, so how can he be proud of it since it was so wrong, wrong, wrong?!

And that whole Band of Brother's business must be pretty unseemly to Mr. Scheer. Why, look at them, the baby-killers! Poncing about on stage like normal, successful, middle-class citizens. How they can keep themselves from flinging themselves to the ground and low-crawling across the stage, yelling "Gooks in the wire! Gooks in the wire!" is a complete mystery to Mr. Scheer. Because, as we all know, Viet vets are, at the best of times, barely stable, due to the horrific crimes they were forced to commit while in Vietnam, where they never would've been sent if it wasn't for the evil warmongering of that Nixon fellow, which, when you think about it, kinda makes them victims, too, man, and hey, how 'bout giving me another hit of that bong?

One suspects that Mr. Scheer wants is for John Kerry to not only reject his Iraq war vote, but to call for an immediate troop withdrawal, just like Jack Kennedy would've done if he hadn't been killed by secret agents working for Lyndon Johnson. Why, if he were to do that, he'd be swept into power in a landslide, by the glorious forces of the people's and worker's enthusiasm for peace! Mr. Scheer just knows it's true.

After all, that's what Eric Alterman says, and he knows everything.

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